I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
