I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
