This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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