i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
