you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
you inspire me to be a worse person
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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