I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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