If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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