so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just google imaged poop.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
