If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
it's not cheating when I paid for it
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
