just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
