look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
