IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize