How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
