Define "chronic" masturbator.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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