Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
