How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
