Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
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