He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
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