But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Pappa wants mamma naked
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize
