You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
