ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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