Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
