i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
