after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
