did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize