he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
tell me about the fingering
Randomize