so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
