There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
