worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
