i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
pray to the hookup gods
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize