and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
