I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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