Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
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