I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
