sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My penis needs a shock collar
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
