dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
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