So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
