Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
