Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
