You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
