I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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