I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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