apparently the secret to your success is patron
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
