You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
