Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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