I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
