Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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