Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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