i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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