i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
