I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
