Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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