this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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