He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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