I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
