Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
