I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
