come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
being pregnant is like rehab
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
