It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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