Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
