hotel room ftw
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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