I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
