Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
