My first STD was from a foam party
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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