Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
