Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
