Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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