Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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