How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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